Boy!

     "Your work on the French Revolution is outstanding! Outstanding I say. It's a work of outstandingly, outstanding, unmitigated drivel boy. Look at me when I'm talking to you. Tell me boy, how in your tiny little mind do you justify this squalid piece of doggerel as an essay on Louis XVI, and how come your writing is such an abominable mess? Your pen leaked? It looks like you dipped a spider in the inkwell and let it run amok over your book, not to mention the atrocious spelling-and where's your margin? You must have a margin! Take this chalk and spell for me on the blackboard, Robespierre. You stupid, stupid boy, it's not Rosspeeair. I'll give you a Reign of Terror you won't forget in a hurry. Do you know what this is boy? DON'T squeal when I'm talking to you. Yes, it's your ear. Do you know what little boy's ears are for? They are for tweaking. Tweaking I say. Stop bubbling boy and act like a man. Take this disgusting exercise book and tear it up. Go on! Tear-it-up-boy. Haven't you even the strength to do that? Use a little muscle. Mark my words you'll never amount to much. Give me the book. That's how you tear up rubbish. Now put it in the bin. The bin boy, b-i-n, over there, look sharp. Now go to your desk and fetch me your other books, I want to see them. On the double boy, and stop blubbering. This is insulting. You're not fit to live in a pig pen. Your geography book is a disgrace, a disgrace I say. Is this meant to be a map of Australia? It looks to me like one of your grubby inkblots, and where's Tasmania. Have you single handedly decided that Tasmania no longer exists? You forgot it?. Stupid boy. My dear old grandmother comes from Tasmania, do you think she would be pleased that you forgot Tasmania? She'd turn over in her grave, she would. This map is supposed to be red, not brown. You see that picture on the wall? Who is it of ? And if you get it wrong, it's six of the best. The Queen? Queen who boy? The fairy queen, Queen Cleopatra, who Boy? Elizabeth? That's correct. Now, why should your map be red? NO! you pathetic cretin, not because it's easier to see. It's because red symbolises the Empire boy, the British Empire with Elizabeth as the reigning Monarch. Australia is RED, RED, RED, like your ear boy! All your books are an absolute disgrace. Throw them all in the bin, yes every blasted one of them. Now on Monday I want to see all your work redone...What do you mean you are leaving school today? Your parents are moving? Where to boy? Tasmania? Well, boy let's hope Tasmania is still there. God help Tasmania. Go to your desk."